 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
cant cry
my sisters husband died six months ago and she says she hasnt cried yet, or cant cry. Can you comment?
Response
Many people cannot cry after the death of a loved one and wonder if they are somehow not grieving "properly" because they cannot cry. Or, more often, the people around us might think there is something "wrong". From my
perspective, I have always felt that crying is totally misunderstood especially in relationship to grief. We all grieve differently and each loss asks for its own expression. No two losses are alike. My sense is that you want to know if your sister's inability to cry is an expression of something deeper and that I cannot answer without speaking with her. If you ( and she) are concerned, then it would be a good idea to meet with a therapist. Your local hospice will have therapists who can help. I would be happy to speak with her on the phone as well.
I hope that my thoughts have helped in some way and would be happy to stay in touch with you. Please feel free to continue writing. It is always good to voice our concerns and keep at it until we feel satisfied with the response.
Trust your instincts. Grieving is a natural process. We don't need to be afraid of it. You might want to read Good Grief: Healing through the Shadow of Loss. It is a book I wrote based on the teachings of those who came to me to share their losses.