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Guilt about my Mom
I am fifteen years old, and my mom died in July and before she did she kept on wanting to have conversations with me. I obviously talked with her, but it all seemed so fake and superficial that I didn't really take any of them seriously. I was sort of in a high of disbelief. I feel that maybe my mom wanted to have a serious conversation with me but I let her down because it all seemed so sureal to me that I never took any of the talks we had seriously so maybe I let her down because I was unavailbale for a final serious talk with my mom when she wanted to have one. It didn't really sink in until the school year started in September, by which point it was obviously too late. Please respond!
Response
In my belief, our relationships with those we love does not end with death. One of my teachers many years ago asked a radical question: Who among us can continue loving someone into and past their dying? It was a question that I felt deep within my heart and have learned from experience that love and relationship and even conversations don't stop when our beloveds die. I am not talking about seances or psychics or trance mediums altho' some people use them. I am talking about in our hearts and minds. You can talk to your mother anytime you choose. Out loud somewhere private, silently in your heart, on paper....You can even hear her talk back to you in your heart and in your mind.
You can read some of what I am sharing with you in my book (Good Grief Healing through the Shadow of Loss) available through Amazon.com. I have
also recently become acquainted with a web-site and a book about women writing letters to their mothers some of whom are alive and some of whom have died. I will send you that information as soon as I can retrieve it.
You are already on your way to discovering your healing journey just because of the questions you are asking. Guilt is like a rocking
chair. You're moving but you don't get anywhere. Put the guilt down. Your relationship with your mom and your "talks" with her won't end until YOU die!