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Death of Mom
My mom died last month, September 14, 2003. I have lots to say and lots of thoughts but I can't articulate them cause the pain is soooo intense. The first 2 weeks was terrible. I knew loosing mom would be hard but I didn't know it would hurt that much. She was not only my mom and my other best friend (my hubby is my other one) she was my spiritual mentor and my prayer partner. I am lost without her and I keep thinking "What am I supposed to do without her, how am I suppose to go on?"
I am blessed to have a supportive hubby and 4 sons and a wonderful church family, but even so, I still so alone in my hurt. I have 2 sisters and 2 brothers. I am the second oldest, but because I am the "strongest in faith", I am looked to to hold things together. The 2 brothers live several states away and have their own lives, they are content to let me handle things, although one of them calls several times a week. The sisters, who were very co-dependent on my mom have transferred that to me. I want to help them, but I find myself ishing they would either go away or grow up.
Whew! I wrote more than I thought I could. Just getting this down helped me.
Thank you
Response
Keep talking. Keep writing. Keep sharing your sense of "lost-ness" and confusion. Grief is not only healing for you but also for those with whom you communicate. It might not be a bad idea to let your siblings know that you need some time and space for yourself right now. It would be a gift to your sisters if you did not support the transference of their "co-dependence". Your mom's death can open them to a new way of being. Take care of your self. The rest will unfold.