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Divorce and Death of the last parent
I am from Europe and been living in the US for the last two years.
During the last month I separated from my wife, initiated the divorce process and lost my mother. My father died last year and I don't have any brothers or sisters.
I do have two children (age 5 and 7) and they are the only force that keeps me alive.
All of a sudden my life "crashed".
I don't have any close family in this country and very few friends.
My emotions swing from anger and resentement against my wife and a sense of guilt for my inability to save the marriage.
I am trying to go ahead and take actions (I joined a local chapter of Parents without Partners) but every day it is seems worse than the one before.
I was not the one who decided to end the marriage and (because I live in a "equal distribution State) I am now facing the risk of losing a substantial part of what I have inherited from my parents, which is basically the only kind of material support that I had left.
Is there light at the end of the tunnel?
D
Response
The nature of a tunnel is that it connects us to the light - so there is always light at the end. Our ability to traverse the darkness is the challenge of grief and loss. Staying open and present and true to ourselves can be helpful. Anger, resentment, and guilt are sure to close us down, pull us into the past (or future) and obscure our truest self. Your children and their needs offer a great opportunity to stay present, open and true. So will the needs of your (physical) well-being and your work. Life has shifted the foundation upon which you have been standing - that means you are being asked to construct a new one. Stay focused on what needs to be done and just put one foot in front of the other. You will get to the end of the tunnel.