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Recent loss of both parents
In February my husband and I seperated. In May my Mom passed away after battling a severe stroke for a year. In mid August I went on vacation with my father for a week returning home on the 26th. On the 28th he became sick and was admitted in the hospital on Sept 1 and passed away Sept 11th. Being an only child plus having no children, I feel like I've lost my immediate family. What's worse was thinking I had a good relationship with my father only to find him an abusive and revengeful man. He left me out of the will and in pictures I found my missing charm bracelet and other personal items were taken from me and given to his wife's godchild. My parents were divorced. The understanding and support I got during my Mom's death, I didn't receive for my Father's death especially at my job. I work for a church and have had no slack cut as far as both deaths are concerned. I'm not sleeping good at all and what sleep I do get isn't the restful kind. I joined a grief support group but the second week I was there a carload of women from the church joined and now I'm no longer able to speak freely as they talk. I tried to speak to my pastor but he came right out and told me he doesn't have time for me. I feel he judged me on what I'm able to give in the collection plate instead of reaching out to someone in need. I can't explain the feelings I'm having. They are so overwhelming that I'm beside myself. Before I had everyone, now I have noone. Would you please offer some advice. Thank you so much.
Response
It is difficult to offer advice in the face of the collapse of your world as you have known it. Your mom's death, your dad's betrayal and death, your separation, the lack of support at work, from your pastor, and from your grief group are more than any words could hope to comfort. There is a teaching that says "breakdown, breakthrough". Basically, this tells us that in the face of absolute collapse, a new world can open. I do not offer this as comfort but more as folk wisdom. For myself, when I have felt overwhelmed by life, I take one small area that I can impact, and I begin to work there. If you were to choose one small step, what might it be?