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My Best Friend is dying
My Best Friend was diagnosed with Breast Cancer at 28 and was 8 months pregnant at the time. In the past 2 years we have hit highs and lows, it has been an emotional roller coaster. 2 days ago she had to have her appendix removed and we found out that she has tumors all in her stomach, they said it was everywhere, the Doctor said she had months and not many. I have broke down once, I feel like my chest is fixing to explode, I don't sleep and I am scared for her. She knows about the cancer in her stomach but doesn't know a time frame, she has a 6 and 2 year old and a wonderful husband, I am not handling this at all. Please Help. I want to be there for her but the shape I am in right now I can't do her any good.
Response
It is difficult to "be there" for someone if we can't be there for ourselves. Right now, it is most important for you to honestly deal with your grief, your feelings of loss, and fear in facing your friend's death. Oftentimes our grief is mixed with our own vulnerability and terror that it could be us in that situation. Is there someone you can talk to - A hospice counselor? A spiritual teacher? A therapist? - who can support you in your own process so that you can be clear for your friend? Most of us want our closest friends and families to be "real" - not to have some imagined courage or cheerfulness but simply to be fully present. Your friend needs you to be you.