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unexpected death of a spouse
My husband recently died in his sleep at the age of 48. He died around 3:00 AM and while he passed away, I lay beside him deep in sleep. Upon trying to wake him, I discovered that he was already dead. I,my family and our friends have been in shock ever since. I am lucky. I have 2 sons, ages 14 and 12. Both are active in school and play sports. They are dealing with the loss of their father as best as can be expected. They miss their father a lot. We all do. He was a good man, one with conviction, commitment and faith. He was my champion. I am taking antidepressants and have many friends who concerned for my status ask me to dinner often and or social events. I am active in my children's school and within our church. I have a large support system who help me with finances, the daily pick up and drop off of active school age children and continue to be active in committees, etc. I know that there is nothing I can do but to carry on. Yet, I feel numb. Nothing makes me happy or gives me pleasure. Everything is empty. I have lost the love of my life and my spiritual half. I know that I must continue but do not care. Time passes too slowly. What should I do - seek professional help or are these feelings normal?
Response
What you are feeling - the numbness, the loss of joy, the yearning for your soul's mate and the emptiness - are all normal. That doesn't mean that it might not be helpful to have some professional support as you navigate this journey. It sounds like you have tremendous love and support around you. Yet, sometimes those who love us the most have the most difficult time allowing us to integrate the pain of grief and loss. Someone who has had experience with grief can help you be true to your self, your husband, and you children.